Every Saturday morning, I jog with my chatty friend Maria. It’s great to be with someone very talkative and bubbly; you get to enjoy the company without realizing how many laps you have wrapped up. But last Saturday, I was a bit surprised because my usual gabby jog- mate is not in her usual self, she was surprisingly silent. After a few lapses, we took a rest and she opened – up. “Jake, called me last night. Said he wants us to cool-off for awhile. He said he needs time and space to think. We all know, Ruth that it’s just men’s polite way of saying ‘We need to break-up.’ That was the third time I heard the ‘It’s- not- you- its-me’ excuse…
Men always break-up with me. I don’t know what I’ve done wrong!” Needless to say, I comforted her and gave her some practical advice on how to get over a break up. I also gave her some pointers on why men break-up with women. With all fairness to the male species, it’s not always them or what they did cause the break-up. What I am about to share are the most common and consistent answers when asked why some/men decide to split up and get moving. One of the reasons why men initiate the break-up is because their partner is not listening. Men always want someone who understands them. I think we all want that in a relationship.
That’s why; if you want to keep your man, listen to him if he needs you to. He may not always be right but make him feel that what he says matters. Another cause is that some women allow their girl-buddies get in the way of the relationship. It’s not difficult for a man to understand the tightness of a female bonding but if you constantly put your man aside over your girl friends then don’t be surprised if he leaves you a break-up message in your answering machine. One more cause is if you treat your relationship like an open circus to your friends and family.
There are certain things that you need to share with your friends and family but there are those that you need to keep between the two of you. If you go yak every fight to your circle then things are bound to get more complicated. Furthermore, being too possessive and too clingy can be a major cause of a break-up. You have to remember that you are his partner not his parole officer. In some cases, too much independence can drive a man away. Call it male ego or insecurity, but if you habitually make your man feel that you can do everything on your own, he gets to think why else do you need him around for? Sounds lame but yes, his ego needs constant feeding.
Another reason why men break up is when there is no bone of encouragement in your body. I don’t mean that you treat him like a first grader but saying something nice and encouraging when he feels down helps a lot. Lastly, men call it quits because there is no growth in the relationship. You have to remember that people do make mistakes but what matters is, we should learn from those mistakes not live by them. It really helps a lot if you let go of your own issues and see the real person in your partner. Sometimes if you are too consumed by your own standards and expectations you will fail to see that the person you have always wanted is right there in front of you.
